Social Anxiety/Phobia Support – Likeability

I plan to read the book at some point; however reading a short intro from the site got me thinking about what it takes to increase your likeability. Is it even possible to increase your likeability?

Bear in mind that since I have not read the book, I am in no position to comment on it. In fact, I will hold off on reading the book until I’ve made a few blog posts about my own interpretation of the concept. It should be interesting to compare notes.

I did, however, watch a short video clip of one of his seminars and he seemed to make a lot of sense. It got me thinking that the world really is one big popularity contest and someone like me is letting 99% of it slip through his fingers.

I have a hard time grasping the whole concept because there are many factors that make up one’s personality, and as such, the criteria for likeability is multifaceted and sometimes ambiguous.

What I do know is that most of us spend our days oblivious to the signals we are sending out (good or bad), and then willingly accept whatever outcome materializes (good or bad). We feel great when things work in our favor and depressed when they don’t. Those with great personalities don’t have to think or try hard – good things just seem to happen as everything usually clicks and falls into place. Similarly, those with not so great personalities also tend not to think about how they present themselves. Except that in this case, they wonder why they are ignored, forgotten and forced to live in the background of society.

What would make you a more likeable person? What part of the “whole package†would you need to tweak? Are you capable of fixing certain personality quirks that may be hurting your chances? For that matter, can you identify where you come up short?

This is something that I have been working on for the past year or so – even before I heard of the likeability factor and Tim Sanders. I have been creating a blueprint that I intend to follow – one that I hope gets me noticed in a more favorable way.

What have I learned in the last year? Well, for one, the concept of likeability, the need to be liked, and the inability to connect with others in a positive way, is closely related to my social anxiety problem and feelings of insecurity. In short, my socially anxious behavior is sabotaging my efforts to increase my likeability and ability to mesh with the rest of society.

So this, somewhat related, problem seems as hard, if not harder to fix than social anxiety itself. Although, my hopes are that if I manage to crack one, the other will follow suit quickly.

Read more at: http://shyandquiet.com/2007/03/06/likeability/.

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